Why International vs. Domestic

A great explanation here.


Cutty tried to impress upon the boy that there is more to life than the (drug-dealing) corner. ''The world is bigger than that, at least that's what they tell me,''

''How do you get from here to the rest of the world?''

In America, so many of us are so caught up in our la-la-lives that we fail to realize that the World is a great big place. The above quote from The Wire captures this thought process exactly for many Americans (not just the ghetto folks). We are arrogant, ignorant, and complacent as a nation - which is only possible because our lives are relatively rich (especially compared to much of the world). Even the poorest chump in our poorest city needn't starve. With our supersized menus on the cheap, foodstamps, and just the general availability of food/shelter, and access to healthcare (via ERs/EMTALA), even the most destitute of our poor have a significant leg up on the *average* person living in many other spots on our globe.

I can appreciate the difficulty of really achieving the American Dream, if both of your parents are cracked-out, and you had to raise your younger siblings in a project or trailer park. I know that the quality of schooling varies, and is largely determined by the amount of money in a community. I have witnessed first hand the abandonment of American kids in ERs, trash-cans, and family members' front porches. Being born addicted, or without access to loving parents, can really set a person back. I know this. And there are lots of kids in America who need families, and I am not impeding this process.

But, any child born in America in this day has significant advantage over a poor child born anywhere in Africa or Latin America. Poor in Ethiopia or Somalia can mean death...and frequently it does. Life expectancy is way lower in poor 3rd world countries. Many children have no one...and there is no 'social support system' in place to coerce strangers to care for them. There are no EMTALA ER visits...or foodstamps to go to the local fish-fry. Unlike our homeless here, there is no supersized burger to be found in the trash can...or cans to recycle for cash. A child born in America has so much opportunity, just by being American. A child born in America has access to books, schools, educators, healthcare, food, shelter...and many of their basic needs are met. They have the ability to make a decision to better themselves, and ultimately acquire many of the "luxuries" that define "success." Even with absent parents, this is possible...and many can attest to this fact first hand.

Clearly there is an psychological component (although money doesn't equate emotional stability, just consider Britney Spears or Paris Hilton). A nurturing home environment, healthy and consistent meals, excellent health, and stable overall environment has a huge impact. Undeniably. I'm not saying children in America are without need. What I'm saying is, children in other parts of the world have different and more basic needs.

With so many needs in the world there are many avenues in which to help. When considering our contribution, we had to consult with our hearts. Divine desires are placed in our hearts to help guide us to/thru our evolution. Our purpose. We care about world peace...we care about genocide in Darfur. We care about autism, environmental pollution. We care about illness, disease, and poverty. We care about women's rights, civil rights, and modern-day slavery. We care about the war in Iraq, corruption of government(s). We care about Mercury in vaccinations, skin eating bacteria, and the dying off of bees. We care...really.

But, people develop certain passions. They soapbox on certain issues. These passions and issues come about various ways. Some experience an illness and begin a fight (such as Christopher Reeves). Some have family members fall ill with conditions that spark their fire to get involved (such as Holly Robinson Peete). Some just educate themselves about a subject they find interesting...and become involved that way.

We have a desire to learn the world. We have a desire to break out of this 'American mindset' that keeps so many of us "trapped" in our la-la-lives, wondering how "we get from here to the rest of the world." We desire to incorporate another culture into our lives, and have a very important and heartfelt reason (and constant motivation) to learn about a group of people we know almost nothing about. We have a desire pull someone into our 'blessed' environment (an environment that is very much a gift that we've been graced with) and share. We believe this is what people are supposed to do - share. Care. Take interest in other cultures, in other people. To give what can, in a way that feels good to your heart.

Sharing our "stuff" and our love with an African child sounds like it'll feel very good. Having a reason to learn all about everything Ethiopian feels good. International adoption, for us, incorporates many of our core beliefs into our desire to participate in the world.

Limiting our adoption efforts to local children doesn't expand our perspective to our satisfaction. Our efforts would feel less significant if the child already has access to...America. And our efforts, to be real and lasting, should feel 'significant' to us. Our contribution should be heartfelt (with that desire placed there by the Divine). And with enough need to go around...we chose international. Many others will have that light in their hearts to seek American children for various reasons. And for them, that's exactly what they should do.

Summary -
International adoption: expand our perspective, participate in another culture, learn something new, give a child (that would not otherwise) access to America.

Additionally - it's not uncommon for domestic adoption to go awry, and for prospective adoptive parents who opt to participate in the foster-care program to see their children taken from them. For example, with PACT in Oakland, as a prospective adoptive parent, you are expected to shell out tens of thousands of dollars to pay for healthcare of the birthmother. (Care that she'd otherwise have government assistance with). And after the time (year or so involvement), money, and "auditions" (i.e. the portfolio and the birth mom *choosing* you) drama...she can change her mind. That's understandable...I mean, how could it not be? But, the kicker is...you don't get your money back (from the agency). If that happens to you...it's just "one of those things." And these kids are very likely to have had intrauterine exposure to crack, alcohol, STDs, and malnutrition, etc. And here you are, lined up to 'undo' what has been done by the mother...

...it just doesn't feel as if the prospective adoptive parents are given any props for stepping up and being willing to intervene to lessen the likelihood that this crack baby will grow up and be a huge burden on society. Almost a thankless task in America, really.

And we won't even go into the 'value' stratification and 'price' of the babies based on race, gender, etc...